How to be People Pleasers (Part 1 of 2)

Paul's Goal: Pleasing People for Their Salvation

The goal in this portion of scripture is specific instruction on how we can be people pleasers—how we should be people pleasers. Immediately, this seems like a contradiction. In Galatians 1, Paul said if he were trying to please men, he would not be a servant of Christ.

Why here in verse 33 does Paul say he tries to please everyone in everything he does, not seeking his own advantage but that of many, that they may be saved? The contexts differ. In Galatians, he's addressing those who please others without the gospel, without the goal of salvation. Here, his focus is not giving unnecessary offense so the gospel remains unhindered.

The key is understanding people accurately and meeting them where they are for the purpose of giving them the gospel, without unnecessary offense that hinders it. For example, you wouldn't walk into a Jewish friend's home and slap bacon everywhere—that's an unnecessary offense. The offense should be the gospel itself.

To be a people pleaser means jumping through hoops—not compromising doctrine or the gospel—but participating in things that are not sin to open doors for ministry, as Paul said, "To the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might win Jews."

1 Corinthians 10:23-11:1
"All things are lawful, but not all things are helpful. All things are lawful, but not all things build up. Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor. Eat whatever is sold in the meat market without raising any question on the ground of conscience. For 'the earth is the Lord's, and the fullness thereof.' If one of the unbelievers invites you to dinner and you are disposed to go, eat whatever is set before you without raising any question on the ground of conscience. But if someone says to you, 'This has been offered in sacrifice,' then do not eat it, for the sake of the one who informed you, and for the sake of conscience—I do not mean your conscience, but his. For why should my liberty be determined by someone else's conscience? If I partake with thankfulness, why am I denounced because of that for which I give thanks? So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the Church of God, just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved. Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ."

Three Responses to "All Things Are Lawful"

Paul responds to the Corinthian argument "all things are lawful." In context, some knew meat sacrificed to idols was no big deal, but their knowledge puffed up and damaged weaker consciences. Paul says if it bothers a brother or sister, he will never eat meat again.

"All things are lawful" isn't entirely true—some things are unlawful. But here, it means things not explicitly sinful are permissible. Paul doesn't totally disagree but shifts the practical application.

1. Not Everything Is Helpful (Profitable)

Not everything brings harmony, unity, or advantage to yourself or others—especially other Christians. "Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor." Neighbor means anyone in your sphere of influence, believers and unbelievers.

Focus on what is profitable: brings glory to God, salvation to the lost, edification to believers. Ask: Does this activity bring unity to the body? Advance the gospel? Honor God? Even sports, wine, or tattoos—does it hinder harmony, salvation, or glory?

Your life's purpose: unity in Christ, gospel advancement, God's glory. How does this help? Your actions outside church affect the body because you're spiritually organic to a local congregation. Church membership matters—you're connected always. A little leaven leavens the whole lump. Be a Christian first, united to your local body.

2. Not Everything Builds Up (Edifies)

Not everything edifies—builds up like constructing a building. Chocolate or Legos might seem fun but melt or fail. Edification increases ability to live responsibly and effectively as a Christian.

Ask: How does this make brothers and sisters better Christians? Equip them? Help them live more like Christ? If it has no effect, enjoy in moderation. But if it hinders even one person in your local body from growing, repenting, or serving, stop it. Some things tear down.

3. Seek the Good of Your Neighbor, Not Your Own

Don't seek your own good—seek your neighbor's. The world says pursue your good, even legislate it. But Paul gives an anti-selfish command: the good of your neighbor is salvation for unbelievers, effectiveness for believers.

Christ didn't seek his own glory but emptied himself for our salvation—and was glorified as a result. God's people are other-oriented, receiving good through others' good.

Paul's Reasonable Advice

Eat whatever is sold in the meat market without raising questions on conscience. This isn't about ignoring gluten-free needs or migraines today—it's contextual.

If an unbeliever invites you to dinner and you want to go, eat whatever is set before you without questioning if it's sacrificed to idols. Become like them to win them. But if someone informs you it was offered in sacrifice, don't eat—for their conscience, not yours.

Don't obsessively police everything for potential offense. Only refrain when it's known and brought to attention—like alcohol at a gathering if a former alcoholic will be affected or find out. Much is beyond your control when ministering to unbelievers.

Paul's Liberty Not Determined by Another's Conscience

There is much beyond your control, but if you know for a fact that something will cause another person's conscience to stumble, do not participate in it.

It may seem that Paul is contradicting himself when he says, "I do not mean your conscience but his. For why should my liberty be determined by someone else's conscience? If I partake with thankfulness, why am I denounced because of that for which I give thanks?"

Paul clarifies that you do not change your own conscience or convictions about something you know is permissible, such as eating meat sacrificed to idols. You already possess the knowledge that it is not sin—the earth is the Lord's, and the fullness thereof. Food belongs to the Lord; it was created by God to be eaten with thanksgiving.

However, you restrain yourself for the sake of another's conscience. Your liberty is not determined by theirs, but if no one else's conscience is bothered, partake with thankfulness, giving glory to God.

Engaging Unbelievers for Their Salvation

If you have opportunity to minister to an unbeliever, take it. While friendship with the world is enmity with God, Christians can live in the world, spend time with unbelievers, go to their homes, eat meals with them, and develop relationships. Eat whatever is set before you, even if disgusting—partake with thankfulness.

Just because someone's conscience could be bothered does not mean you change yours. The purpose is to engage unbelievers for their salvation. It is wrong to fellowship with unbelievers without intending to spread the gospel. You are not seeking their advantage or salvation.

The governing principles of the Christian life are growing in unity with other Christians, ministering to them, advancing the gospel in the world, and doing everything for God's glory—as Paul demonstrates.

Do All to the Glory of God

Whether you eat or drink—or do anything else—do it all for the glory of God. If not, there is no point, and it may even be sinful.

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. Give no offense to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God.

The answers to questions about Christian liberty are determined by this: Can God receive glory? When you seek others' good—their edification, righteousness, blessing, or salvation—rather than your own, you glorify God. This is not merely social welfare; it relates to salvation. God is not glorified in anything disconnected from salvation or for which His people cannot give thanks.

The Christian life is summarized by doing everything for God's glory, demonstrated by partaking with thankfulness. Ask: Can I thank God for this with a clear conscience? Does it avoid unnecessary offense to brothers, Jews, Greeks, or the church?

You are a Christian first. The church matters first; the salvation of those around you matters first. If you divide over non-gospel issues, you have already failed. Every activity, discussion, and entertainment must build up neighbors, advance the gospel, and strengthen the faith without hindrance.

If there is no way to glorify God, edify believers, or advance the gospel through your actions, stop participating.

Imitate Paul as He Imitates Christ

Paul says, "I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved." Then, "Imitate me."

Your duty is to be more like Paul, who was more like Christ. In everything, seek God's glory and others' good—without hindering the gospel in believers' or unbelievers' lives. Build up consciences, don't stumble them. Build up unbelievers with the gospel.

If a brother or sister is bothered by voting a certain way or a particular entertainment, do not unnecessarily offend. Imitate Paul, who was a Christian first, pleasing others without compromising doctrine, the gospel, or Christianity's stances—to keep the gospel unhindered for salvation.

There is righteous advantage in seeking God's glory first and others' good before your own. Imitate Paul as he imitates Christ. Lay no offense except what should be offensive: the gospel confronting sin.

Many issues cannot be solved without the gospel. On matters like tattoos, there are bigger fish to fry. Focus on greater holiness, imitating Paul and Christ—issues will work themselves out as God is glorified and enjoyment in Christ grows.