Dating Foundations, Part 2 (Part 1 of 2)

The Foundation of Glorifying God in Dating

Last week we established the most essential foundation for dating—and for all of life—which is the glory of God. Whatever you do, do it unto the glory of God. Whether eating a meal, drinking water, brushing your teeth, or playing video games, everything must glorify God. This is the purpose of every Christian, both as a created being and as one redeemed by salvation.

for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23, ESV).

Humanity's core problem is falling short of God's glory. Redeemed people are now positioned to glorify Him. Therefore, Christians must glorify God with their entire life—including dating.

Obedience to parents is crucial here. If you're under their authority, follow their principles and rules in dating. Disobedience fails the purpose of dating: to glorify God.

The Bible outlines three kinds of romantic relationships: promise to marriage, engagement to marriage, and marriage. Each focuses on marriage.

The Foundation of Purity: Understanding the Purpose of Your Body

Another vital foundation is purity, rooted in understanding the purpose of your body. In dating, the body risks becoming an instrument for self-gratification through romance like kissing or handholding. Without biblical understanding, you risk unique sins.

What should you do with your body in promise to marriage, engagement, or marriage? Attractions intensify in romantic relationships, so grasp your body's purpose to avoid sin.

1 Corinthians 6:12-20

“All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything. Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. (1 Corinthians 6:12-20, ESV)

Context: Anti-Relationship Vices

Paul addresses relationships, including romantic ones, amid Corinthian sins worse than unbelievers'—like a man with his father's wife. This stems from misunderstanding the body's purpose.

Chapters 5:9-11 and 6:9-11 list anti-relationship vices to avoid: fornication (pornography, premarital sex), homosexuality, greed, idolatry, reviling (abuse), drunkenness, swindling. If a professing Christian has these, purge them from the church—no Matthew 18 process.

These vices marked your past: such were some of you. But you were washed, sanctified, justified. Now pursue godly relationships leading to marriage, benefiting each other spiritually and fulfilling creation's design: man providing, woman helping.

Principle: Not Dominated by Anything

Verse 12 applies broadly: “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful... I will not be dominated by anything.” Even non-sinful things hindering sanctification must go—sports, video games, bars, parties, or physical attraction in dating. Refuse domination to glorify God freely.

The Body's Divine Design

Paul uses a Captain Obvious example: Food is for the stomach, stomach for food—both temporary. Then the punchline:

The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

Your body, bought at Christ's excruciating price—bearing God's wrath—is for the Lord.

Motivated by Gross Imagery

Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never!

Picture grafting Christ's limbs onto a prostitute—vile! Let this sicken you from sexual sin.

Uniqueness of Sexual Sin

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

Sexual sin uniquely violates your body, God's temple of the Holy Spirit. You are not your own—you were bought with a price. Glorify God in your body.

The Unique Nature of Sexual Sin

Eating to the point of gluttony harms the body, as do drugs, drunkenness, and sexual promiscuity leading to diseases. But those are not what Paul addresses here. The uniqueness of this sin is that it is the only way in the New Testament to do what happened in the Old Testament: filling the temple with idols and desecrating the temple of God. It is a spiritual concept.

Sexual immorality, because of the union that takes place between two people—as Paul quotes—creates a specific, special, and unique desecration of the temple of God. God lives within you. You are the New Testament temple. The physical temple was destroyed because God decreed it to end; He now lives within His people.

To engage in sexual sin with another person in a unified sense desecrates the union between you and God and your salvation.

Key Takeaways: Risks Without a Foundation of Purity

Without a foundation of purity, I run the risk of being dominated by something in a dating relationship. I could become dominated by a person's attractiveness, leading to not being a one-man kind of woman or one-woman kind of man.

Consider a man who called a radio counseling program: his wife had gained weight, and he no longer found her attractive, threatening their marriage. He was dominated by physical attraction.

In marriage, abandon all concepts of your "type" of woman. If your wife gains curves, that becomes your type. If she becomes a size zero, that's your type. If she goes blonde or redhead, that's your type. The same applies to women. Be husband-sexual, wife-sexual, as we discussed last week. Do not be dominated by these things.

Do not be dominated by the infatuation of a relationship, feeling less of a person without one, or lacking identity unless dating the most popular person for social status.

Without a foundation of purity, I run the risk of sexual sin—a unique and particularly bad sin. In the Old Testament, especially Ezekiel, Israel's idolatry was likened to an adulterous wife. Sexual sin is the epitome of the worst sins.

In the seven churches of Revelation, Jesus calls sexual sin the deep things of Satan. There is no greater expression of satanic worship than sexual sin—greater even than shocking images like the goat-headed figure circulating online.

Without a foundation of purity, I fail at the purpose of dating: to glorify God. The relationship complicates glorifying God, distracting from what I should be free to pursue.