A Biblical Perspective on Love and Acceptance (Part 1 of 2)

Introduction to a Biblical View of Love

We started a series entitled Biblical Perspectives, looking at foundational truths to address current issues. Today, we examine a biblical perspective on love and acceptance. This is challenging not because the Bible is unclear, but because views of love and acceptance vary widely. There's pressure on Christians to be loving, and thus accepting, in ways that may not align with Scripture.

We must tackle varying definitions of love and its intensity in different situations.

Perceiving God's Love to Properly Love

To properly love, one needs to perceive the love of God. In John 3:16, in such a high degree God loved the world, therefore he gave his only unique Son, that everyone believing in him will not perish but have eternal life. Jesus emphasized to Nicodemus the intense degree of God's love that motivated sending his Son for salvation.

What quality of love are we devoted to? We may set our sights too low. God's love involved sacrifice through Jesus Christ for our salvation—a high degree of love.

There are different Greek words for love, but we know them: brotherly love, familial love, romantic love, even eros. Agape, a common term, means a warm regard, interest in, or satisfaction with something.

Examining agape throughout Scripture: Love is a willing, conscious, special devotion for one's satisfaction and special interest to be found in someone else, in whom one achieves satisfaction through giving oneself over for the satisfaction of someone else.

It's not selfish, seeking satisfaction in oneself. Jesus said it's more blessed to give than to receive. Love finds satisfaction when someone else benefits, even at personal expense—like Epaphroditus in Philippians 2, near death from ministering.

Degrees of love exist and should. We don't love everyone equally, nor does God.

Psalm 11:5: The Lord tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence.

Psalm 139:21: Do I not hate those who hate you, O Lord, and despise those who rise up against you?

Luke 14:26: If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.

Ephesians 5:25: Husbands, love your wives.

Romans 9:13: Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.

These aren't contradictions. I love this church and youth group, but my love for my wife far exceeds it. By comparison, it could be said I "hate" others relative to her. God loves all, but has common love versus special love for his bride, the church. Degrees and kinds of love exist and should.

1 John 2:5-6: Whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we know that we are in him. Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.

Perceiving God's love means a lifestyle conforming to it. The love of God is complete, never lacking.

1 John 3:1: See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are.

God adopts us into his family, conforming us to the image of his most loved Son, Jesus. God existed eternally in mutual love within the Trinity, extending that to us through Christ.

1 John 3:10: By this it is evident who are the children of God, and who are the children of the devil: whoever does not practice righteousness is not of God, nor is the one who does not love his brother.

If there's hatred toward even one fellow Christian, you're not safe. Practicing righteousness and loving brothers distinguishes God's children.

Regeneration Precedes Love

You are a child of God. Walk away with assurance of your faith if you practice righteousness; if not, you are of your father the devil.

1 John 4:7
Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.

Regeneration, new birth, conversion—unless somebody is born again, they can't even see the kingdom of God. It's not on their radar, let alone possible to enter unless born from above, born of the water and the Holy Spirit. When that happens, a person now has the ability to be loving.

From a biblical perspective, as we interact with the world, the world defines love as a lesser degree—a cheap knockoff of God's love. To be loving and have love, one must be in Christ, a Christian. There's no other way to experience love unless through salvation.

This is why pursuing romantic love with a non-Christian sells yourself short. The degree to which they can reciprocate is tainted with spiritual debt and sin, impossible to be perfect love. Pursuing even friendship outside the church, outside the body of Christ, is missing out—and sinful.

Regeneration precedes love. A difficult pill: continuing in 1 John 5:2-3,

By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and obey his commandments.

How do I avoid realizing I'm not saved by hating a brother? Instead, love other Christians. To love brothers and sisters, I must love God and obey him. Disobedience demonstrates not loving the brethren.

Hebrews 6 speaks of those who fall away, not genuinely saved. Then to his audience: "Beloved, we are convinced of better things concerning you, things that belong to salvation. For God is not unjust so as to overlook your work and the love that you showed for his name in ministering to the saints."

Obedience to God's word proves love for brothers and sisters. 1 John 5:3 explicitly states,

For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome.

Not keeping God's commandments means not loving.

Love is Irreconcilable with Sin

To properly love, perceive love as irreconcilable with sin—they're not compatible. Ephesians describes a more excellent way in the church (1 Corinthians 13, applicable to marriage): love is patient, kind, does not boast. Love does not sin; it opposes sin. Love is the antithesis of sin.

Titus 2:14 and John 3:16 show God's love expressed highly. John 15:13,

Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.

Christ fulfilled this supremely, saving, purifying, redeeming—not leaving as they are. "Come as you are to Christ and be saved," then changed. In 1 Corinthians 5-6, listing sins: "Such were some of you." No longer homosexual, drunkard, fornicator, liar—you're redeemed, purified into the image of Jesus Christ.

The church is filled with individuals representing Christ, not themselves. God is sovereign; he doesn't love everybody equally. Reactions: offense if man-centered, or glory if God-centered. We can't demand from God given who we are.

Perceive Acceptance and Rejection

Acceptance means receiving someone, giving admittance, approval, regarding as proper or normal—relating to who they are, what they believe, their lifestyles. Always endure for the gospel's sake, like Ezekiel among scorpions, for people to become like Christ.

But must a Christian accept by giving approval? The church is people, not a building—exclusive of unbelievers. People can come, hear the word: they'll be offended or convert.

If every area of life is gospel-saturated, unbelieving friends or associates: they convert or reject you. God decides.

Example: unrepentant sin in church (drunkenness, fornication, adultery). 1 Corinthians 5:9-13: purge, reject—don't eat with them. Distance to feel the sting of exclusion from covenant community, prompting repentance. That's the most loving act.

Matthew 18 and Hebrews 12:5-8 on discipline: God disciplines those he loves, rejecting sin to move them toward Christ.

Jude and 2 Peter warn of false teachers creeping in, turning to sensuality—often subtle, touching morals not doctrine, like Balaam.

2 Corinthians 6:14-15
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever?

Unequally yoked: like oxen directed by the yoke's controller. With unbelievers, you're not in charge.

1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be deceived: "Bad company ruins good morals."

Associations with deniers of resurrection (all unbelievers) ruin you.

Objection: Jesus ate with sinners. Mark 2:15-17,

And as he reclined at table in his house, many tax collectors and sinners were reclining with Jesus and his disciples... "Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners"—to repentance.

Christ dined with his sheep to save them.

Closing Considerations

As a Christian, be loving—you're born of God. Love means concern for their holiness. Sin destroys like acid; God judges by giving over (Romans 1). Telling someone to stay in sin is not loving.

Strive for perfected love—complete, whole, godly—for church community.

Saturate love with the gospel: greatest display of love. When offended, recall your greater offense against God; forgive as forgiven.

God determines how to love and be loved—he's sovereign. He's determined covenant community with highest love. He calls the shots; you receive blessing.